Not About Lumberjacks

Be mighty, and keep your axes sharp!

Behind the Cut – The Last Two Episodes

by Leave a Comment

Left Side of Image: A cross section of a cut tree against grass. Text reads "Behind the Cut - The Not About Lumberjacks Companion." Right Side of Image: A dark tunnel of trees illuminated at the far end. Text reads: The Art of the End and Christmas Miscellany 9 - Commentary by: Christopher Gronlund.

In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest two Not About Lumberjacks stories, “The Art of the End” and “Christmas Miscellany 9,” I talk about the time constraints of running a narrated fiction podcast mostly by myself.

As always, this commentary contains spoilers from the last two episodes, so you might want to listen to “The Art of the End” and “Christmas Miscellany 9,” first.

Transcript >> (Coming Soon)

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Christmas Miscellany 9

by Leave a Comment

Wrapped books in brown wrapping paper. Globe ornaments, pinecones, and evergreen branches on the packages. Text reads: Christmas Miscellany 9 Three Stories - One of Them Seasonal Written By: Christopher Gronlund Narrated By: Christopher Gronlund, AJ Fidalgo, and Cynthia Griffith.

It’s that time — the annual Christmas episode!

What began as a one-time thing is now in its ninth year!

So what do we have this time?

How ’bout these three stories:

  • “Bigfoot’s Here!” – A surprise involving a Bigfoot costume does not go as planned!
  • “Above and Below” – Three survivors of a nuclear war—a billionaire in his bunker, the head of his security detail, and a technical writer who was hiking in the mountains when the missiles came down—navigate their way through a very different world.
  • “Gifts Through Time” – A woman finds three items in an antique shop and does everything she can to find out the stories behind them.

* * *

Before getting to the stories, I want to call attention to the two additional narrators who helped with this episode.

Cynthia Griffith is no stranger to Not About Lumberjacks. Next to me, no other person has read more of my work for the show. While she’s pulled back from all social media, you can learn more about her on the Not About Lumberjacks Talent page.

* * *

AJ Fidalgo is normally a cast member in audiodramas — Madison On the Air, No Return, The Silt Voices, and Nine to Midnight to name a handful — but he proves he has narrating skills as well! He brings the second story, “Above and Below,” to life.

You can learn more about AJ at his website, ajfidalgo.com.

If you’re in need of an audio drama cast member or someone to narrate a story for you, I can say with confidence that he’s great to work with!

* * *

And now, the usual content advisory…

Spread throughout the three stories making up this year’s Christmas episode are gun violence, minor gore, passing mention of implied suicidal ideation, conventional and nuclear wars, deaths, a vehicle accident (including the sounds…in case you’re listening to this while driving), and—of course—swearing!

No matter what you celebrate this season (or not), I wish you and yours all the best as we face down the end of another year.

* * *

Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – All music licensed through Epidemic Sound.

Story: Christopher Gronlund.

Narration: Christopher Gronlund, AJ Fidalgo, and Cynthia Griffith (she’s smart, and echews the world of social media).

Episode Transcript >>

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

The Art of the End

by 2 Comments

Sunlight breaks through, and illuminates, a forest in a magical glow. Text reads: The Art of the End - Written and Narrated By Christopher Gronlund

Nine years ago, I released the first November anniversary “lumberjack” story. Titled “The Art of the Lumberjack,” I described it like this:

When Erik Nilsson has a minor heart attack and is told to take some forced time off of work to recuperate, he finally reads a book left to him by his father much earlier in life. What he finds hidden among the pages changes him forever…

Nine years later, we catch up with Erik and his father in a sequel to that story.

Content Advisory: “The Art of the End” deals with the death of a parent, an argument with an estranged parent, and…that’s really about it. Oh, there is one bit of swearing.

* * *

Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Christopher Gronlund and an additional traditional track, licensed through Epidemic Sound.

Story: Christopher Gronlund.

Episode Transcript >>

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

A Schedule Update

by Leave a Comment

A bare, silhouetted tree on a green hill at sunset.

The evening of August 8, I received a call from the police in the town where my mom lived that she was dead.

FOOM! Just like that…

Obviously, that has had an effect on story scheduling.

This short update is about what to expect the rest of the calendar year…
(Quick version: I’m skipping one scheduled story.)

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Behind the Cut – Instead of Dreaming

by Leave a Comment

Left Side of Image: A cross section of a cut tree against grass. Text reads "Behind the Cut - The Not About Lumberjacks Companion." Left Side of Image: A walkway at night, illuminated by a single light revealing the pathway and foliage, Text reads "Instead of Dreaming. Commentary By: Christopher Gronlund.

In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks story, “Instead of Dreaming,” I talk about the real-life influences on the story, memories, healing, and how soothing the night can be.

As always, this commentary contains spoilers from the latest episode, so you might want to listen to that first.

Transcript >> (Coming Soon)

* * *

Things mentioned in this episode:

The Chicago beef stand I mention is Susie’s, at 4126 West Montrose Avenue. I believe it’s now a taco stand called Taco Pros Cocina.

Photos of the tunnel mentioned in this episode:

The entrance. My friend Lee and I were the first in. (My nickname is, and still is, Ogre.) Later, we shared our secret with a couple other friends. The “TR” stands for Tunnel Rats.

The end of a storm drainage tunnel under a bridge. Water and grime ooze from the hole. Graffiti above reads: "TR - Lee, Rob, Ogre & Jason. Below: Die Lik" before being cut off.

I looked into the tunnel. Man, we were dumb!

Camera flash view of the inside of the drainage tunnel, quickly falling off to darkness.

I was so happy to see everything still there. So many time, memories shift over the years. I think I know who “Rob” is in the first image. No idea which Jason it was…or if it was even one of my friends.

A closer image of the storm drain tunnel.

I thought I was so damned funny writing STOP VANDALISM!!! in and act of…vandalism.

Grafitti on a concrete wall reading: "Stop Vandalism!!!"

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Instead of Dreaming

by 2 Comments

A dark path with a fence to the left. A yellowish, dim pathway light illuminates foliage. Text reads: Instead of Dreaming - Written and Narrated By Christopher Gronlund


A high school English teacher comes to conclusions about life after recovering from a hit-and-run accident.

Content Advisory: “Enemy Wanted” deals with difficulty sleeping, a blurred sense of reality, crime, cartoonish violence, illness, a death, and wishing for an early end to life. That makes it sound dismal, but I assure you…it’s a blast of a story.

Also, it’s one with no swearing. Still, were it a movie, it would be rated PG (or maybe PG-13 for mature themes), so be aware. Also, because there are scenes with action, be prepared for the occasional surprising loud sound.

* * *

Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Jospeh Beg, licensed through Epidemic Sound.

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.

Episode Transcript >>

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Behind the Cut – Enemy Wanted

by 1 Comment

Left side: a Cross section of a cut tree with a grassy background. Text reads: Behind the Cut. The Not About Lumberjacks Companion. Photo of a piece of paper taped to a telephone pole with blue tape. Text reads: ENEMY WANTED. 123-555-1212. To the left, the wires from the pole continue to another. Behind that, a bit of a highway overpass. To the right, grass, a wooden fence, a free behind that, and apartments. Text reads: Enemy Wanted. Commentary by: Christopher Gronlund.

In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks story, “Enemy Wanted,” I talk about the first writing I was ever paid to do, collaboration, and how I’m lucky to have support from creative friends I’ve known for decades.

As always, this commentary contains spoilers from the latest episode, so you might want to listen to that first.

Transcript >>

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Enemy Wanted

by 2 Comments

Photo of a piece of paper taped to a telephone pole with blue tape. Text reads: ENEMY WANTED. 123-555-1212. To the left, the wires from the pole continue to another. Behind that, a bit of a highway overpass. To the right, grass, a wooden fence, a free behind that, and apartments. Text reads: ENEMY WANTED. Written and Narrated by: Christopher Gronlund

Ferdinand Pérez gets more than he bargained for when he answers a flyer ad taped to a telephone pole looking for an enemy.

Content Advisory: “Enemy Wanted” deals with difficulty sleeping, a blurred sense of reality, crime, cartoonish violence, illness, a death, and wishing for an early end to life. That makes it sound dismal, but I assure you…it’s a blast of a story.

Also, it’s one with no swearing. Still, were it a movie, it would be rated PG (or maybe PG-13 for mature themes), so be aware. Also, because there are scenes with action, be prepared for the occasional surprising loud sound.

* * *

Before we get to the story, I want to talk about the music in this one. Clarke Jaxton Motorbike makes electronic music and writes badass stories on his YouTube channel. (You should go listen and read some…most are only a couple minutes long.)

We started chatting after I replied to some of his work. One day, he contacted me — saying he would love to do the score for a Not About Lumberjacks story. Originally, we thought his music would be perfect for “A Very Strange Day (On Our Neighboring Red Planet),” from this year’s Christmas episode, but Mr. Motorbike was in the middle of scoring a feature film.

So, instead, he gets the first Not About Lumberjacks story of the new calendar year!

* * *

Oh! One more quick thing: there’s mention of a soup review podcast in this story. Paul Csomo’s The Soup Review Podcast is a real thing, and you should check it out!

Onward!

* * *

Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Clarke Jaxton Motorbike.

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.

Episode Transcript >>

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Not About Lumberjacks Q&A 2

by Leave a Comment

A close-up image of a gray concrete wall at its corner. Sticking out, and electronic sign displaying a glowing reddish/orangeish question mark.

Four years ago, I did a Q&A for the Behind the Cut episode for “Geocached.”

No idea why I’ve not done another, but with this being the long time between episodes (after back-to-back stories last November and December), it seemed like a good time to do another.

I asked members of the Not About Lumberjacks Patreon for questions — as well as some questions from social media. These were the results:

  • Are there any limitations that frustrate you about stories you would like to tell? Whether it’s your technical skills or the medium itself (obviously it’s audio, so you can’t use visual effects etc that sort of thing where you find yourself thinking “if only I could ___, I would be able to tell this story the way I want to”).
  • Are there styles or types of stories you wish you were able to write?
  • At what point did you realize you had found your voice/style, and how much of it stays solidly “you” as you go from serious to goofy stories.
  • What’s the longest you sat on a story for Not About Lumberjacks?
  • Any stories you refuse to abandon because there’s got to be some kind of conclusion to it somewhere, and the plot is too cool to walk away?
  • Might be a bit personal, but is Not About Lumberjacks breaking even? Losing money, Because I never did a podcast, I don’t know the finances of having one.
  • Did you know Dave Pettitt before reaching out to him about narrating? Did he know (or know of) you and Not About Lumberjacks?
  • What is the favorite thing you’ve written that is the least liked by other people and why do you think that disconnect happened?
  • Which story surprised you the most that became a fan favorite – why do you think it was so popular with your listeners?
  • Between seminars, writing courses, writing groups, etc., what do you think has helped you improve the most as a writer?
  • How do ideas for stories come to you? Do you randomly say something like, “I want to write about this kind of guy who lives in this kind of setting and has this unusual thing about him,” and then fill in? Or does some small thought catch you and you turn it into a story? Or what other ways?

Links to people and things mentioned in the Q&A:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Behind the Cut – Christmas Miscellany 8

by Leave a Comment

Left side: a Cross section of a cut tree with a grassy background. Text reads: Behind the Cut. The Not About Lumberjacks Companion. Right side: A red glass Christmas ornament on snow. Text reads: Christmas Miscellany 8. Commentary by: Christopher Gronlund.

In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks collection of stories, “Christmas Miscellany 8,” I talk about writing coincidences that make it seem like writers copy from other writers or current events…

As always, this commentary contains spoilers from the latest episode, so you might want to listen to that first.

Transcript >>

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS