Not About Lumberjacks

Be mighty, and keep your axes sharp!

Gerald’s Grail

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A faintly glowing clay chalice full of Dungeons and Dragons dice. A graph paper map and Dungeons and Dragons books are scattered around the table, along with other dice, pewter miniatures, and a glass Mountain Dew bottle. Text: Gerald's Grail Written and Narrated by: Christopher Gronlund

While knocking around an antique shop with his grandmother, a teenage geek finds something that changes his life in a most curious way…

Content Advisory: Bullying, violence (including passing mention of the Cambodian genocide of the 70s), teen tobacco and alcohol use, and — of course — swearing.

And if you’re so inclined, be sure to check out the Not About Lumberjacks Patreon. For as little as a dollar a month, all patron content is unlocked.

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Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Lupus Nocte, Rocking for Decades, Ludvig Moulin, Christopher Moe Ditvelsen, Jon Bjork, Philip Ayers, and Cercles Nouvelles, licensed from Epidemic Sound.

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.

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Behind the Cut – Revisions

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Left side of image: cross section of a cut tree stump. Text reads "Behind the Cut - The Not About Lumberjacks Companion." Right side of image: Books on a table in front of a window. Text reads "Revisions - Commentary by: Christopher Gronlund."

It’s not uncommon for people to assume stories are a reflection of the author — especially stories in which an author features a writer as a protagonist. “Revisions” is about a writer who was raised by a single mother. Some people who know me mentioned they felt it was heavily influenced by my mother.

I discuss where my life is similar to the protagonist in the story and…how our situations and views greatly differ.

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Revisions

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Piles of open books in front of an interior window looking out to greenery. Text: Revisions Written by: Christopher Gronlund Narrated by: Cynthia Griffith

An author tries to finish construction on her recently-deceased mother’s home while writing her second novel — the follow up to a New York Times Best Seller.

Content Advisory: Death of a parent and struggles with self doubt. (For once, no swearing!)

And if you’re so inclined to pitch in and help the farm animal sanctuary I mention in the intro, check out The Farm Micro Sanctuary on Patreon, or on their Facebook or Instagram accounts.

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Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Johannes Bornlöf, licensed from Epidemic Sound.

Story: Christopher Gronlund.

Narration: Cynthia Griffith.

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Christmas Miscellany 5

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A gold glitter Christmas tree ornament hangs from a branch. Blurred background. Text: Christmas Miscellany 5. Written by: Christopher Gronlund. Narrated by: Christopher Gronlund and Cynthia Griffith.

Four stories, most of which take place during the holiday season…

  • “Stories of Fine Taste”: The stories behind two recipes (“Grandma’s Olive Loaf” – Something wicked is back in Kirkland’s Holler) and (“Fred’s English Muffin Garbage Pizzas” – A young boy finds out what’s behind a mysterious door).
  • “Reply All”: Cheryl’s not standing for office gossip about her and a co-worker.
  • “Drifted”: A character from the second Christmas episode ends up stranded on a mountain with something more naughty than him… (Listen to the last story of this episode if you need a reminder of a naughty little boy…)

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Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Frizz Oli, Earle Belo, Golden Fern, Howard Harper-Barnes, Martin Landström, and pär licensed from Epidemic Sound.

Story: Christopher Gronlund

Narration: Christopher Gronlund. and Cynthia Griffith.

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Behind the Cut – In Cypress Slough

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Left side: A cross section of a tree in grass. Text: Behind the Cut - The Not About Lumberjacks Companion. Right side: A painting of an ivory-billed woodpecker. Text: In Cypress Slough - Commentary By Christopher Gronlund

“In Cypress Slough” includes two gay characters, but it’s not a story about being gay in East Texas.

In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks story, I talk about representation, the stories I’d never write (and why), and how I approach writing disenfranchised characters who have experienced lives I can only imagine.

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Links to some people and things mentioned in this episode:

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In Cypress Slough

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Painting of an ivory-billed woodpecker head. Text reads: In Cypress Slough Written and Narrated by: Christopher Gronlund

Two deadhead loggers find something remarkable in the Piney Woods of East Texas, putting them at odds with a large timber company.

Content Advisory: In Cypress Slough deals with bullying, violence (including gun violence), homophobia, the destruction of wildlife and habitat, structure fires, mention of suicide, and swearing. Also, if you’re driving: be aware there’s a scene with approaching emergency sirens and one LOUD jump-scare (a gunshot).

Mitch Todd’s Andromeda Factory trailer.

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Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – River Foxcraft, licensed from Epidemic Sound.

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.

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Behind the Cut – Milkboy

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Left side of image: Rings of a cut tree in grass. Text on the tree rings reads: "Behind the Cut. The Not About Lumberjacks Companion." Right side of image: A pour of milk missing a glass and splattering all about. Text: "Milkboy. Commentary by: Christopher Gronlund."

While “Milkboy” is based on a true story, it definitely ends up a work of fiction. When I started the story, I had no idea where to take it. Discovering what to do with the story led to a ridiculous and heartfelt tale of friendship that is one of my favorite stories on the site.

I talk about that — and much more — in this behind-the-scenes look at the latest episode of Not About Lumberjacks.

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Milkboy

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A pour of milk missing the glass scatters around the image. Text: Milkboy Written an Narrated by: Christopher Gronlund

Milkboy is based on a true story…

When two friends use a bulletin board system to create an online persona to tease their best friend, they get more than they have coming to them for their deception.

Content Advisory: Milkboy deals with emotional manipulation, stressful working conditions, infected food, passing mention of a grizzly death, demonic possession, and cartoonish violence. And, of course, there’s plenty of swearing. (A bit more than usual, in fact.)

Also, if you’re driving: be aware that anytime you hear characters in a vehicle after the mention of Yummy’s Greek Restaurant in Denton, Texas…there will be yelling, squealing tires, and even a collision. Really, from that point on…just expect the story to get louder and more ridiculous with each new paragraph.

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Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Birdies, licensed from Epidemic Sound. Hellish soundscape licensed from Michaël Ghelfi. Check out Michaels ambient compositions at his YouTube channel, website, or on Bandcamp.

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.

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Behind the Cut – Calling Out of Time

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Left side of image: Rings of a cut tree in grass. Text on the tree rings reads: "Behind the Cut. The Not About Lumberjacks Companion." Right side of image: A glowing phone booth on a quiet city street at night. Text: "Calling Out of Time. Commentary by: Christopher Gronlund."

“Calling Out of Time” started with a tweet. Without a random thing I saw on Twitter, it’s unlikely this story would exist.

Ideas are everywhere if you’re open to them, but it’s not as easy as picking them out of the air — it helps to know which ideas are worth working through vs. those best ignored.

While there is an effort involved in writing any story, ideas aren’t so hard when you know the one simple test I talk about in this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks story…

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