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Behind the Cut – Christmas Cuts

January 21, 2019 by cpgronlund Leave a Comment

Christmas Cuts: Written by Christopher Gronlund.
Narrated by Cynthia Griffith, Patrick K. Walsh, and Christopher Gronlund.

Most stories you’ve listened to, here, are polished first drafts.

Especially where short stories are concerned, I do not subscribe to the notion that the first draft of everything is shit.

Some thoughts about that, and how it worked with the recent Christmas episode.

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Behind the Cut, Greetings, Naughty, The Crock

Christmas Cuts – Three Stories

December 23, 2018 by cpgronlund 4 Comments

Last year’s holiday-ish 7-Stories episode, featuring a handful of micro-fiction, was well received. So this year, it’s another handful of stories:

  1. “The Crock,” narrated by Cynthia Griffith. A woman’s battles with her mother-in-law take an unexpected turn.
  2. “Greetings,” narrated by Patrick K. Walsh. An out-of-work special effects makeup artist gets a job as a big-box store greeter.
  3. “Naughty,” narrated by me, Christopher Gronlund. A naughty little boy gets what he deserves and learns about the the spirit of the season.

Content Advisory: “The Crock”: Swearing and family rivalry (mother in law vs. daughter in law). “Greetings”: Job loss and swearing. “Naughty”: Swearing and cigar smoking. Child torture.

Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch

Stories: Christopher Gronlund

Narration: Cynthia Griffith, Patrick K. Walsh, and Christopher Gronlund.

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Greetings, Humor, Naughty, Not About Lumberjacks, Quirky, The Crock

Behind the Cut – Waking the Lumberjack

December 17, 2018 by cpgronlund 1 Comment

Waking the Lumberjack is the first one-shot audiodrama I’ve done with multiple voice actors for Not About Lumberjacks. Anchoring the story is Tim Czarnecki, starring as the Narrator.

I sat down with Tim and chatted about what it was like narrating this story…

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Filed Under: Behind the Cut, Episodes Tagged With: Audio Drama, Behind the Cut, Humor, Quirky, Waking the Lumberjack

Waking the Lumberjack

November 23, 2018 by cpgronlund 3 Comments

Waking the Lumberjack - Tombstone in a Wrestling RingIn honor of another year of Not About Lumberjacks, it’s a wrasslin’ story I swear has nothing to do with lumberjacks!

The funeral service of “Big Papa” Howe, the Ontario Lumberjack, does not go as planned. It’s up to his two sons, Big Mike and Little Mike, to put an old rivalry to rest.

Content Advisory: Swearing. Cartoonish violence (professional wrestling). Death of a parent and a funeral.

* * *

Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Power and Beauty.

Story: Christopher Gronlund

Starring: Tim Czarnecki as the Narrator.
Michael Howie as Big Mike Howe.
Christopher Gronlund as Little Mike Howe…doing a really bad Canadian accent.
Rocky Westbrook as The Wrestling Fan.
Cynthia Griffith as Mama Howe.
Shawn Kupfer as Dicky Coffee Guy and Father Kupfer.
Rick Coste as Big Rick Coaster.
Additional wrestlers and grunting provided by various talent listed above.

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Audio Drama, Humor, Quirky, Waking the Lumberjack

A Random Update

October 13, 2018 by cpgronlund 1 Comment

Howdy, howdy, howdy. Christopher here with a random update.

This is mostly being recorded and released in support of this episode of the ScreamQueenz Podcast.

ScreamQueenz is a fun look at cheesy horror films, but in October it gets a bit more serious. Not the show, because the show is always light-hearted fun! But in October, show host Patrick Walsh does a pod-o-rama to raise funds for New Alternatives NYC.

New Alternatives helps homeless LGBTQ+ youth. It’s a cool thing, and very dear to Patrick’s heart…and his friends. So I’m posting this in the hope you will go here and donate at least $21 — a dollar for each consecutive day Patrick releases episodes until Halloween! (You know what my release schedule is like, here…so imagine DAILY episodes. That’s crazy! But that’s how much this means to Patrick, who is simply a damn good human being.)

How good a person is Patrick? Well…when “The Hidebehind” narrator, Michael Howie, visited New York City, Patrick insisted on taking this photo to include me in a way because I wasn’t there hanging out with them.

Patrick Walsh and Michael Howie

Dawwwwwww…ain’t they the cutest!

I mention those two because…today’s episode of ScreamQueenz features Michael Howie and I talking about Dave Made a Maze with Patrick. Three bearded gents talking about a fun movie. That’s snazzy!

But wait, there’s more! I also talk about what’s going on with me, lately, in this episode…and share what will be released for at least the next four months on Not About Lumberjacks.

So, again, if you want to donate to a good cause, go here.

If you want to hear Michael, Patrick, and I talk about Dave Made a Maze (and other things), go here.

Thanks so much. I’ll be back later this month with a story about a kid who makes a monster in his bathtub.

– Christopher

* * *

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Not About Lumberjacks, The Hidebehind

Behind the Cut – Dear God (Ep. 022)

August 12, 2018 by cpgronlund 1 Comment

Envelope addressed to God - Behind the Cut – Dear God (Ep. 022)“Dear God” is not the first story I wrote featuring gods; in fact, it’s not the first story I’ve written for Not About Lumberjacks featuring gods.

Gods are strange things to me. I’m a life-long atheist, but I love the storytelling opportunities gods of all kinds offer.

Also, I might just talk about how the Marvel Thor movies influenced this episode…and how they didn’t. (In many ways, an old Dungeons and Dragons rule book should probably get the most credit for the story.)

* * *

Also, I mention a friend named Laura Lange in this episode.

It just-so-happens that the day I release this episode of Behind the Cut…that Laura released an episode of her show, The Peaceful Life Podcast, in which she and I talk about being bullied as children. We talk about a Not About Lumberjacks favorite story, “Purvis” — as well as Dungeons and Dragons and many other things.

Episode link is right here.

* * *

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Filed Under: Behind the Cut, Episodes Tagged With: Behind the Cut, Dear God, Quirky

Dear God

July 25, 2018 by cpgronlund 3 Comments

Stamp addressed to God.A panhandler is given a magical postage stamp.

Content Advisory: Swearing. Scam artists. Mention of parental death. Homelessness. Misogyny.

* * *

Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Dear God, Quirky

Behind the Cut – A Race to the End (Ep. 021)

April 29, 2018 by cpgronlund Leave a Comment

Birthday cake - A Race to the End - Written and narrated by Christopher Gronlund - Behind the Cut – A Race to the End (Ep. 021)If one desires, they can have a story end in so many different ways.

Some stories just have a feel from the start for a certain kind of ending, but others are shaped by a writer’s environment — sometimes even being affected by other stories written around the time a particular story is done.

That’s what I talk about with “A Race to the End.”

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Filed Under: Behind the Cut, Episodes Tagged With: A Race to the End, Humor, Quirky

The Race to the End

April 14, 2018 by cpgronlund Leave a Comment

Birthday Cake - The Race to the End. written and narrated by Christopher GronlundThe 100-year-old son of the oldest man to ever live plots to kill a 123-year-old man about to break his father’s record.

Content Advisory: Swearing and cartoonish violence. Stress of aging and mortality. A son trying to live up to his father’s expectations.

Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Humor, Quirky, The Race to the End

Behind the Cut – Episode 20: 7 Stories

February 7, 2018 by cpgronlund Leave a Comment

A red Christmas ornament -  Behind the Cut – Episode 20: 7 StoriesThe last episode was a bit of a departure, with seven bits of micro-fiction. The most fascinating thing was hearing which stories people loved most (“Vlad Stovepipe” won).

So…for this episode of Behind the Cut, a bit about each of the stories…

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Filed Under: Behind the Cut, Episodes Tagged With: 7 Stories, Another Christmas Eve, Be a Man, Behind the Cut, Fucking Asshole, Hardcore, Humor, Literary, Lumberjacks, Monologue, Not About Lumberjacks, Pride of the Red Card, Quirky, The Intersection, Vlad Stovepipe

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