Not About Lumberjacks

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Old Growth

November 9, 2023 by cpgronlund 3 Comments

Glowing yellow eyes peer out from a hollow tree covered in moss and leaves. Fog obscures the foreground of the forest view. Text: Old Growth. Written and Narrated by: Christopher Gronlund.


You are a lumberjack alone on the side of a mountain with whomever—or whatever—killed your fellow loggers.

(Yep! This one’s in second person…)

Content Advisory: “Old Growth” deals with death, gore, anguish, being lost in a forest, being alone in the dark, and…creatures. But hey, at least there’s no swearing!

There’s really only one rather unpleasant horror scene. The rest is more just…creepy in its intent.

* * *

Before getting into the tale, I want to thank everyone for supporting Not About Lumberjacks and helping make this the 50th full story episode of the show! (If you factor in the Christmas stories, there are 70 free stories on the site.)

To honor the occasion, I’m doing a giveaway!

People have asked for merchandise, and it is on the way. Until then, this is your chance to be one of the few people on the planet with a Not About Lumberjacks t-shirt!

Here’s how it works (and this applies internationally as well):

  • To get one entry in the random drawing, all you have to do is email me at NALStories@gmail.com and tell me your favorite episode or something you like about the show.
  • If you email me and tell me that…and let me know you’ve shared this episode (or your fave) somewhere online…or that you subscribe to my YouTube Channel or newsletter, you’ll get a second entry. (I trust you and have no intention of making you prove it.)
  • Finally, if you’re a Patreon patron, or sign up for my Patreon and let me know you did, you get a third chance.

I’ll do the random drawing on Saturday, December 23 and contact the winner then. (All contact will be directly from me, so if you get contacted through an Instagram account meant to look like me, or any place other than NALStories@gmail.com, it’s not me. I mention this because I know that even when someone tiny does some kind of giveaway, scammers try figuring out ways to exploit it. You will know me by the email address and my babbling thank you for supporting the show!)

And again…this applies to international fans of the show, too.

All right, let’s get to work!

* * *

Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen (closing tune: Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen, Anna Dager, and Hanna Ekström), licensed through Epidemic Sound.

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.

Episode Transcript >>

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Fantasy, Horror, Lumberjacks, Old Growth

Christmas Miscellany 5

December 23, 2021 by cpgronlund Leave a Comment

A gold glitter Christmas tree ornament hangs from a branch. Blurred background. Text: Christmas Miscellany 5. Written by: Christopher Gronlund. Narrated by: Christopher Gronlund and Cynthia Griffith.

Four stories, most of which take place during the holiday season…

  • “Stories of Fine Taste”: The stories behind two recipes (“Grandma’s Olive Loaf” – Something wicked is back in Kirkland’s Holler) and (“Fred’s English Muffin Garbage Pizzas” – A young boy finds out what’s behind a mysterious door).
  • “Reply All”: Cheryl’s not standing for office gossip about her and a co-worker.
  • “Drifted”: A character from the second Christmas episode ends up stranded on a mountain with something more naughty than him… (Listen to the last story of this episode if you need a reminder of a naughty little boy…)

* * *

Credits:

Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Frizz Oli, Earle Belo, Golden Fern, Howard Harper-Barnes, Martin Landström, and pär licensed from Epidemic Sound.

Story: Christopher Gronlund

Narration: Christopher Gronlund. and Cynthia Griffith.

Episode Transcript >>

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Christmas Miscellany, Fantasy, Horror, Humor, Literary, Quirky

Behind the Cut – Episode 19: The Hidebehind

December 11, 2017 by cpgronlund Leave a Comment

Behind the Cut – Episode 19: The HidebehindSomething a little different this time…

Because “The Hidebehind” was the first episode of Not About Lumberjacks with a male narrator other than me, I chat with Defender Radio’s Michael Howie about what it was like to work together on the story’s production.

It’s a glorious tale of friendship, creativity…and majestic beards!

(Also, you should totally follow Michael on Twitter and Instagram.)

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Behind the Cut, Horror, Inspiration, Narration, The Hidebehind

The Hidebehind

November 15, 2017 by cpgronlund 6 Comments

Trees in fog - The Hidebehind (Written by Christopher Gronlund and Narrated by Michael HowieSomething lurks in the woods outside a lumber camp in this story I SWEAR is NOT about lumberjacks…

Content Advisory: Swearing. Violence (involving fights and knives). Alcohol use. Mass poisoning. Horror (monster in the woods). Dementia brought on by environmental factors. Implied cannibalism.

Official Selection - HEAR Now: The Audio Fiction and Arts Festival 2018"

* * *

Credits:

Story: Christopher Gronlund

Narration: Michael Howie, of the Defender Radio Podcast. (Follow Michael on Twitter!)

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Kai Engel

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Horror, Lumberjacks, The Hidebehind

Strange Audio

October 23, 2016 by cpgronlund 6 Comments

Ghostly Image and Sound Wave - Not About Lumberjacks: Strange AudioIn honor of Halloween: a podcaster discovers some ghostly audio while editing an episode of his show…

Content Advisory: Swearing, crude humor, spouses arguing, an old ghost created by violent means (violence against a woman).

* * *

Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch

Story: Christopher Gronlund

Narration: Christopher Gronlund and Cynthia Griffith (Wife and all Ghosts)

Additional Voice Talent: Rick Coste (The Three-Step Dick and Ghosthunter #1), Rocky Westbrook (Ghosthunter #2), and Mary Salerno (Mom).

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Filed Under: Episodes Tagged With: Horror, Humor, Podcasts, Strange Audio

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