Not About Lumberjacks

Be mighty, and keep your axes sharp!

Christmas Cuts – Three Stories

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Last year’s holiday-ish 7-Stories episode, featuring a handful of micro-fiction, was well received. So this year, it’s another handful of stories:

  1. “The Crock,” narrated by Cynthia Griffith. A woman’s battles with her mother-in-law take an unexpected turn.
  2. “Greetings,” narrated by Patrick K. Walsh. An out-of-work special effects makeup artist gets a job as a big-box store greeter.
  3. “Naughty,” narrated by me, Christopher Gronlund. A naughty little boy gets what he deserves and learns about the the spirit of the season.

Content Advisory: “The Crock”: Swearing and family rivalry (mother in law vs. daughter in law). “Greetings”: Job loss and swearing. “Naughty”: Swearing and cigar smoking. Child torture.

Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch

Stories: Christopher Gronlund

Narration: Cynthia Griffith, Patrick K. Walsh, and Christopher Gronlund.

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A Random Update

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Howdy, howdy, howdy. Christopher here with a random update.

This is mostly being recorded and released in support of this episode of the ScreamQueenz Podcast.

ScreamQueenz is a fun look at cheesy horror films, but in October it gets a bit more serious. Not the show, because the show is always light-hearted fun! But in October, show host Patrick Walsh does a pod-o-rama to raise funds for New Alternatives NYC.

New Alternatives helps homeless LGBTQ+ youth. It’s a cool thing, and very dear to Patrick’s heart…and his friends. So I’m posting this in the hope you will go here and donate at least $21 — a dollar for each consecutive day Patrick releases episodes until Halloween! (You know what my release schedule is like, here…so imagine DAILY episodes. That’s crazy! But that’s how much this means to Patrick, who is simply a damn good human being.)

How good a person is Patrick? Well…when “The Hidebehind” narrator, Michael Howie, visited New York City, Patrick insisted on taking this photo to include me in a way because I wasn’t there hanging out with them.

Patrick Walsh and Michael Howie

Dawwwwwww…ain’t they the cutest!

I mention those two because…today’s episode of ScreamQueenz features Michael Howie and I talking about Dave Made a Maze with Patrick. Three bearded gents talking about a fun movie. That’s snazzy!

But wait, there’s more! I also talk about what’s going on with me, lately, in this episode…and share what will be released for at least the next four months on Not About Lumberjacks.

So, again, if you want to donate to a good cause, go here.

If you want to hear Michael, Patrick, and I talk about Dave Made a Maze (and other things), go here.

Thanks so much. I’ll be back later this month with a story about a kid who makes a monster in his bathtub.

– Christopher

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Behind the Cut – Episode 20: 7 Stories

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A red Christmas ornament - Behind the Cut – Episode 20: 7 StoriesThe last episode was a bit of a departure, with seven bits of micro-fiction. The most fascinating thing was hearing which stories people loved most (“Vlad Stovepipe” won).

So…for this episode of Behind the Cut, a bit about each of the stories…

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7 Stories

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A red Christmas tree ornament - 7 StoriesA bit of a departure this holiday season: seven stories instead of one!
(Think of it as micro-fiction stocking stuffers.)

  1. “Not About Lumberjacks” – As it says in the name, this story is not about lumberjacks!
  2. “Be a Man” – Sometimes kids grow up faster than they should.
  3. “Fucking Asshole” – It’s a story about a guy named Fucking Asshole.
  4. “The Intersection” – Life in a tightly wound world…
  5. “Vlad Stovepipe” – Yeah, it’s about a vampire snowman!
  6. “Hardcore” – Tell this guy wrestling’s fake…
  7. “Another Christmas Eve” – A story about one family’s Christmas Eve tradition.

Content Advisory: “Be a Man”: Child abuse, mention of a dead dog (by gunshot), alcohol abuse, and murder. “Fucking Asshole”: Uhm…swearing! “The Intersection”: Anger, violence (shooting), and family loss of a child (shooting). “Vlad Stovepipe”: Cartoon violence. “Hardcore”: Swearing and violence. “Another Christmas Eve”: Divorce, violence (family fistfight), swearing, depression, loneliness.

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Credits:

Story and narration: Christopher Gronlund

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch (aka Poddington Bear)

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