[Listen]
[Intro music plays]
[Woman’s Voice]
This is Behind the Cut with Christopher Gronlund. The companion show to Not About Lumberjacks.
[Music fades out]
Christopher Gronlund:
Behind the Cut is an in-depth look at the latest episode of Not About Lumberjacks and likely contains spoilers of the most recent story. Also, I might swear. You’ve been warned…”
* * *
I am a man of many new years.
First comes that day each May when I mark another year of existence. I won’t go into great detail, here, but I spent most of my life depressed. Sometime in my early 40s, things got better and the worst of those thoughts are behind me. So, each May, no matter how busy life might be, I take the day off on my birthday to celebrate being here.
New Year number two:
Despite living in Texas, where it’s usually still well into the hundreds when the calendar turns to September 1, I view that day as the beginning of my writing new year.
I was born in Chicago and raised north of the city. September did mean returning to school, but it also meant I’d soon be surrounded by my favorite season. Even as a kid, life seemed more reflective in the fall. I loved the colors, the weather, and knowing quieter days were ahead.
These days, September is like a starting gun—weather be damned! I see “September 1st” on the calendar and my mind turns even more toward writing (or at least being more reflective, which never hurts a story).
My third new year is in November, when I release the annual Not About Lumberjacks story totally not about lumberjacks! While September and October were my favorite months when I lived up north, November and December are my favorite months in Texas. Taking a moment each November to remind myself, “You wanted to get back to writing short stories, and you did,” is never lost on me. Starting this show in 2015 is one of the best creative moves I’ve ever made.
That Not About Lumberjacks is a part of some people’s lives matters to me more than many things that probably should matter to me even more.
I celebrate what I have with this show each November, when I release the anniversary episodes.
Of course, there’s also the new calendar year. That new year means a little break with Not About Lumberjacks, even though I’m usually doing something behind the scenes. But after back-to-back releases in November and December, it’s nice returning to a slower schedule.
While November is the “new year” for the show, the calendar new year is the new year in my planning. Once November’s never about lumberjacks story and December’s Christmas episode are released, I’m back to writing without regard to themes. Anything I want to write is within reach.
And there’s one more new year I should mention: July 3rd. I’ve been with my wife, Cynthia, for over 30 years. We’d both confess there are times sharing a life and tight quarters with another creative person can be tough (we both go through periods of wanting to be left alone to the things we do), but I’m lucky to share my life with an artist who understands there are times you rush to getting an idea down when it arrives, no matter what’s going on. [And really, as we’ve gotten older and not viewed our creative endeavors as an everything-or-nothing pursuit, we just have fun making things we don’t have to create, but do because we enjoy it.])
* * *
I’m writing this the day after Christmas. I stayed up reading last night as the fire in the fireplace died out, and then woke up early. I opened my list of story ideas to see what seems to demand the most attention. It’s down to three things: a sci-fi story (which would be the first sci-fi story I’ve ever written). It’s a story I know gets Cynthia’s vote.
Next: a story about the secrets of a small town (probably in Italy) being revealed to all…and the fallout from that. And then a story about a rough-and-tumble creative muse…and the writer who wants a replacement.
Of course, I have other story ideas to choose from…and this excludes the new story ideas I’ll likely come up with the rest of this month and into the new year. So, February could see something not even I knew about.
* * *
The thing about all the “new years” I celebrate is acknowledging the constants in my life. On May 26 each year I get older…but I’ve grown older just in the time putting this commentary together. Every second to some is loss—for others, it’s wisdom gained, new adventures, or seeing the patterns in life that make one happy.
July is a reminder that I share my life with someone who knows me better than anyone else ever will. (And someone who has helped keep this show going behind the scenes, despite her own creative pursuits.)
September is the annual reminder that, since childhood, I’ve always written. I may have wanted to be an artist before anything…and along the way I entertained becoming a wildlife biologist or a professional juggler, but I have always loved the stillness that comes with working through thoughts, getting them down in some tangible way, and leaving behind a glimpse of how I view the world.
November’s new year is a reminder that I made a decision to get back to writing short fiction—and the way I knew I’d do it regularly is putting it out there for others. It’s a simple moment in the seconds of my life when I add a new year to the Quick List of stories on the Not About Lumberjacks website, but it always feels so big to me.
And, of course, there’s seeing the constants that come with each calendar year. I might look back and think, “I wish I had done this or that last year…” but I choose to acknowledge the things I did do.
I would have loved moving more miles on my feet last year, but it was the first full year in a newish job. Despite that, some of the miles I did put in on my feet (and in a canoe) were in warmer weather that usually wrecks me. I could choose to berate myself for not moving as much as I liked, or…I can look at progress made in weather I hate that encourages me to maybe not hate the sun as much in 2023!
* * *
There’s a scene in the movie, City Slickers, in which Billy Crystal’s character is talking to Curly, the grizzled old cowboy played by Jack Palance. They ride along on horses as Crystal’s character tries finding out what makes Curly tick.
They stop, and Curly says, “Do you know what the secret of life is?”
Crystal’s character doesn’t know.
Curly holds up a single finger. “This. One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don’t mean shit.”
Crystal’s character says, “That’s great, but what’s the one thing?”
Curly replies: “That’s what you gotta figure out.”
Obviously, most of us live for more than one thing, but it’s a good thought exercise. While I live for many things, I suppose my one thing is being as true to myself as I can be in a world that doesn’t always make that easy.
I’d love to write fiction full time, but that’s not my reality. Obviously, I work toward it becoming a reality with each new story I release, but it’s possible to work harder and smarter than most people and still not see one’s biggest dreams come true. But by acknowledging all these little “new years” I celebrate in each calendar year, the things that mean the most to me never fully slip my mind.
* * *
Working in corporate America, I’ve worked for decades with people who work during their time off. They work weekends. They are always busy, and each turn of a calendar year, they resolve to change everything.
But that’s not how it works.
In the end, the two biggest regrets people have at the ends of their lives are:
- I wish I had been more true to myself and not lived my life by the demands of others.
And…
- I wish I hadn’t worked so much.
It might seem strange to some that I acknowledge so many little new years each 365 days, but seeing the things that make me happiest (or feeling fulfilled) as constants in my life ensure those are the things I fight for. Granted, it’s usually easier said than done, and many of us are bound by certain realities that don’t always make that possible.
As Anders says near the end of this year’s Christmas episode, “We all trade for something.”
* * *
A more [supposedly] rational person might look at Not About Lumberjacks and say, “You spend 40-60 hours on each episode, and until this past year, you’ve done it for free. Even now, you don’t make much money for your efforts.”
I’d be lying if I said there have not been times in my life I wished I were wired to just give myself to a job and reap the rewards of perceived security, but that’s not being true to myself.
In the rush of life, the things I’ve traded for might leave me thinking, “Ya know…this is a foolish endeavor, and my time would probably be better spent pursuing things more likely to ‘succeed.’”
But I see Not About Lumberjacks—and other things I do in life—as successful. They are constants that bring me happiness in a world that makes me sad. They might not be Curly’s “One Thing,” but if I trace back why the constants in my life are important, it leads back to something at least resembling a single thing.
* * *
It’s natural to get a bit reflective at the close of one year and the opening of another. It’s natural to say, “Next year, I will do all these things!”
I’m no different than anyone else in that regard.
But by stopping along the way in the year to appreciate little accomplishments—not waiting until the very end—I regularly pause and reflect upon the things that matter most to me.
At the time of writing this, the latest Christmas episode has passed the 50 listens mark I shoot for in a story’s first week. It made it, I believe, faster than any other story I’ve released.
Not great numbers for a podcast…especially one that requires so much time and effort.
But this show is a constant in my life I can depend on more than many other things. It makes me happy.
That it makes others happy is not something I take lightly, and I hope the stories I write, record, and share in 2023 somehow make your life a bit brighter.
Thank you for caring about what I write…and…
* * *
Thank you for listening to Not About Lumberjacks and Behind the Cut. Theme music for Behind the Cut is a tune called “Reaper” by Razen. Visit nolumberjacks.com for information about the music, the episodes, and voice talent.
Also, for as little as a dollar a month, you can have access to a bigger behind-the-scenes look at Not About Lumberjacks on Patreon. Check out patreon.com/cgronlund if that sounds like you’re kinda thing.
I mentioned not knowing what story February will bring. Like I said, I wrote this commentary the day after Christmas and I’m recording it on New Year’s Eve Day. So, I now know what story I’ll share in a couple months; in fact, I’ve had a bit of time off to even get it started.
“Rock Biters,” is the first science-fiction story I’ve ever written. It’s about dwarves in a mining colony…in space. I’m having a blast with it, and can’t wait to share it in February.
Until next time: be mighty, and keep your axes sharp!
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