Not About Lumberjacks

Be mighty, and keep your axes sharp!

The Other Side

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Glowing light from an opening door - The Other SideDaniel’s life was not going very well. Not only did his wife divorce him, but he was laid off from his job. With few cares about what would happen to him if caught, he breaks into his childhood home to see if something once in his bedroom closet is still there.

Content Advisory: Swearing, divorce, depression, fantasy violence, alcohol use, fantasy deaths, work/life struggles.

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Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

Orcs: Rick Coste, Mark Hosack, Shawn Kupfer, and Christopher Gronlund

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A Magic Life

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A Magic Life (Written by Christopher Gronlund and Narrated by Cynthia Griffith)While Not About Lumberjacks exists to share my short fiction, behind the scenes I’m always working on bigger things. I’m currently working on the second draft of a novel called A Magic Life.

A Magic Life is about a girl born in the circus in the 1920s and her rise to fame as a magician in the 40s and 50s.

Cynthia Griffith, who edited Episode 4 of Not About Lumberjacks — fan-favorite “Horus” — narrated the first chapter of A Magic Life.

To give you a taste of something bigger, I thought it would be fun to share the first chapter here.

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Rabbit Eyes

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Rabbit on the ground -- staring. Rabbit Eyes, written and narrated by Christopher GronlundThe owner of a software company becomes very uneasy when he discovers someone close to him is trying to control his mind.

Content Advisory: Swearing, manipulation, controlling relationship, deception, sex.

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Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz , Chad Crouch, and Craig Kelman

Rabbit Photo: Serious Fun

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

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Looking for Dogs

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A green field - "Looking for Dogs" Written and Narrated by Christopher GronlundDicky Wingfeld has it all: a great job, a loving wife, and a new house. But Dicky also has a problem: a father who cannot seem to stop collecting junk.

One morning when Dicky’s father, Richie, appears at his son’s bedroom to ask if he’ll help him track down a couple Great Danes he saw running loose in a field, Dicky finally figures out why his father’s yard looks like the county dump.

Content Advisory: Swearing, smoking, depression, hoarding, loss of mother to cancer.

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Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Kai Engel

Field and Tree Photo: John Mark Arnold

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

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Behind the Cut – Episode 4: Horus

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African Grey Parrot - Behind the Cut - Episode 4: Horus“Horus” is the first short story I’ve written in at least half a decade. (My focus in recent years has been novel-length fiction.) To get back to short fiction, my motivation was simple: write a story for my wife. My wife is a fan of parrots, so a story about an unemployed writer who lands her dream job, but gets more than she bargained for in the form of an African grey parrot named Horus seemed like a good way to go. “Horus” is almost the most downloaded episode of Not About Lumberjacks. I like to think that’s because the story is good (I, and others, believe it is), but I think so much of the episode’s success was the result of having my wife, Cynthia Griffith, narrate the story. Cynthia’s narration was the highlight of the episode for so many people…so for this episode of Behind the Cut, I interviewed Cynthia about reading the story.

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Horus

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African Grey Parrot - Horus. Narrated by Cynthia GriffithSarah Nelson is an unemployed writer trying to find her next gig while dealing with her overbearing mother. Her world changes the day she answers an ad as a writer’s assistant for a famous author.

With time to focus on her own writing and learn even more about the industry from her new mentor, everything seems perfect until the day Sarah gets more than she bargained for in the form of an African Grey parrot named Horus.

Content Advisory: Swearing, an overbearing mother, and two instances of death from natural causes.

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Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch (aka Podington Bear)

African Grey Photo: BlondieB38

Story: Christopher Gronlund

Narration: Cynthia Griffith

Episode Transcript >>

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Behind the Cut – Episode 3: Mr. Knowitall

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Hands holding a glowing Magic 8 Ball - Mr. KnowitallYou don’t think, “What does the voice of a Magic 8 Ball sound like?” until you’re faced with recording a story in which the old toy is a character. I didn’t think about any of the voices in “Mr. Knowitall” until I was sitting before the mic, recording. This episode of Behind the Cut is all about turning the voices heard in our heads when reading to ourselves into something physical for people to hear.

A little departure with this episode: no sneak peek of the next episode of Not About Lumberjacks. I don’t want to give too much away with the next story (other than it’s about an unemployed writer who lands her dream job, only to discover it comes with more than she bargained for in the form of an African grey parrot named Horus), so…you get a bonus story called “Be a Man.”

“Be a Man” is probably the shortest story I’ve written…and definitely one of the most brutal as well.

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Mr. Knowitall

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"Mr. Knowitall" - Hands around a glowing Magic 8 Ball toyJerry Hachard was destined for big things, but left his family fortune behind for a quiet life of adventure and travel. When his parents are killed in an accident and he returns to his hometown, he’s amazed to find only one thing left to him in his parents’ will: a plastic Magic 8 Ball.

Jerry’s brother got the family business, and his sister got the family fortune. The Magic 8 Ball seems like a strange thing to leave to the first child in the family. It’s only when Jerry’s life begins changing in dramatic ways that he understands the gift…and all that comes with it.

Content Advisory: Loneliness, swearing, family rivalry, family fistfight, parental death, gambling, hospitalization.

[A $0.99 e-book version of Mr. Knowitall is available in the Store.]

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Credits:

Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch (aka Podington Bear)

Magic 8 Ball Photo: BarkBud

Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

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